Do I love my son?

Hello butterfly part 1  (My  Son's Diary 2)

Hi! 

Welcome again.  





Troy got ready for school pretty early today.  His first day.  Didn't even think there would be a day like this after all that has happened last year..and this year but mostly last year.  

Anyway for a kid who should be hating school just like I did he actually looked happy.  

Strange boy.  

I watched him put his diary in his backpack.  Oh great that's a good place to keep something so precious.  Not! But it will help me from the temptation to see what's inside.  

"Mom I'm leaving" 

I rolled my eyes going back to fixing myself breakfast. Did he really think I cared? Whether he  left for school or not I did not care.  What I cared about was the peace and quiet he would leave me by just stepping out of my house.  

"Mom" Troy called out again.  This time I actually turned to look at him.  He didn't say anything.  Just waved and left.  

Mnxim! Stupid child. Who does he really think he is? 

I went back to fixing myself my breakfast.  Not at all caring about his show of...love? Is that what he was showing me? Waving me goodbye even though I didn't even care to say goodbye in word form or in a wave for him. 

The boy was so strange to me. It was like he completely  forgets how much I don't like him sometimes.  

His problem I guess.  

I sat down on the barstool of my kitchen.  Sipping tea from my favourite cup.  

It had the word 'Mom' on it. Because it was my mother's day gift from my son.  Okay I don't like the boy but his gifts I'll take.  

I did give him what he has now didn't I?  It's only fair that I get what I deserve. 

I had my phone on.  Reading one of the ebooks in my Google play books . The sequel to 'The Soul Talks As Well' which is a 'Mother's Heart' 

I was only about to get into the second page of the book when I heard it. The loud BANG! 

The screeching tires.  The loud voices outside of people either screaming or crying.  

No one could mistake this for anything else but a car accident.  

Another reckless driver drove over someone or another stupid person ran in front of a moving  car.  

Either way both these people had the same possibility of having the same outcomes.  One could be judged in court while the other could be judged wherever  he/she thought he/she would end up.  

I continued  to drink my tea until I heard another sound. A sound that made me freeze in place.  A sound so  familiar that even if I was in  a deep sleep I'd know who made it.  

"Mama!" It wasn't loud. But it  was trying to.  As if he was struggling to even yell out.  "Mam.." the sound...the voice died out into the voices around it. The voices surrounding it. 

The voices that were too loud than his.  

My instincts told me to get up.  Run outside.  Just to confirm.  Just to tell myself...the part in me that was sure that this was his voice that it wasn't him.  It  couldn't be him.  

I refused to believe it. 

I gulped down now  that sour face in my throat made from the after taste of the tea. 

KNOCK! 

No! 

Knock! Knock!

"Uh miss! Are you in there?! We've got your-" I held my hands on my ears.  I refused! It  could never be him.  Never.  

The son I raised was not stupid.  The son I raised would never say goodbye to me and expect to never come back again. He is coming back.  He wouldn't just leave.  

He wouldn't just get drive over by a car.  

"Miss! We'll open this door by force if you do not open it!" 

What did they mean by that? What was so important?  Why couldn't they say what they wanted to say on the door?  Why have to threaten me to open the door? 

"Miss!" I could hear the impatience from their voices.  

I knew that I had to get up.  And be grown enough to just go open  the door.

Hear what they had to say.  

Given that it wasn't anything about Troy.  

Troy.  My son.  Could he really be hurt?  

I shook my head.  Refusing to believe it. My own son. No!   



Thanks for being here!  Until next time.


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